Catfished by Kristen Jaramillo – San Antonio! Kristen Jaramillo thinks she’s just a big bag of chips. I wrote her a love song, but she doesn’t love me back. All that effort wasted on this worthless b*tch. She will break your heart. Look out world. She claims today, she is losing weight but in reality she’s just a big fat floozy who needs attention from her fake ass relationships to get Louis Vuitton that I could’ve bought her.